Do You Suffer from Social Handicap Disorder (SHD)?

Hello, my name is Debra and I am socially challenged.

 *So much so it falls into the realm of handicapped.

I don’t require a prescription or an over-the-counter drug or therapy. (Maybe) I am an introvert. Such an extreme introvert the sight of conversations in my twitter feed makes my heart begin to palpitate double-time. Any witty comment I had in mind turns to ash and blows away. All that’s left, a zombie desperately trying to suck back life, pull out something thrilling worth sharing.

The result―(usually) overwhelming and exhausting.

Do you suffer from this condition, Social Handicap Disorder (SHD)?

Female_Handicapped_Logo_by_slyfoxark copy
Image via Adam Kelly / slyfoxark on DeviantART

Here are a few clue factors to help with your diagnosis:

  • You clam up or become overly shy in groups larger than two or three.
  • Larger groups are more manageable with people you already know.
  • Time with other people, known or not, is exhausting.
  • The thought of posting overwhelms you with anxiety.
  • You must regularly remind yourself of etiquette and niceties because you are wired logic first.
  • You are sometimes overly sensitive, notice when others are recognized and not you.
  • You need help with your social filter find yourself checking and editing your social media responses multiple times before hitting the ‘post’ button.

    Do you recognize someone you know?

They are not trying to be rude or snobby or withdrawn. They simply need time, your support, and understanding.

Do you see yourself in any or all of the above?

If so, then everything listed above should should rather familiar to you.

These traits, coupled with the demands of being a full-time mom of two high-stressed, needy children (Aspergers with depression, ADHD with anger issues), and an almost absent husband, makes finding time difficult. Stepping out on that social platform already in a state of stage fright, not so ideal.

This is where those baby steps I mentioned a couple weeks ago comes in. Little by little, that’s how we do it. Deep breath, slow and steady. Because, if you’re like me, it’s easy to believe everyone hates you. Even within your “in” groups. But they don’t. So, if you are like me, I don’t hate. I’m only quiet, because I tend to be that way. You’re in good company.

Let’s see a show of hands. Who suffers from SHD? What can you suggest to help others push through it to the other of success?

Make sure you check in with this week’s participates of The Writing Process Blog Tour:

  • Elena Dillon ~ Elena Dillon writes YA romance with suspense, sass and swoon.
  • Marcy Kennedy Ι Science Fiction and Fantasy Author Marcy Kennedy is a speculative fiction writer and a freelance editor who believes there’s always hope no matter how bad the situation seems.

……………………….

Thanks for stopping by! I truly appreciate your support.

Until next time, immortally yours.

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27 thoughts on “Do You Suffer from Social Handicap Disorder (SHD)?”

  1. Tameri EthertonTameri Etherton

    Aw, Sweets! I know social media isn’t easy for you and that hurts my heart a little. Probably because it is easy for me and I truly enjoy it. I’ve learned through you to have patience with people when they say they don’t get it, or don’t like it. My first response used to be, ‘What? Are you insane? It’s so much fun!’, but then I realized that for some people, it isn’t fun, but terrifying.

    Do what you enjoy and don’t stress the other stuff. And trust me, us extroverts get exhausted spending time with others, even if we adore them. Being social is exhausting. Period. Whether in person or online. But keep being you, because you’re pretty freaking awesome.

    Love you!

  2. Coleen PatrickColeen Patrick

    It’s not easy for me either. I often feel like I have a post and run kind of mentality when it comes to social media. Maybe being online is a tad easier than real life social situations, but still I don’t think a week has gone by since I started blogging/social media that I haven’t thought about just quietly disappearing. But then again there’s some really cool peeps like you around these parts! 🙂

  3. Kristy K. JamesKristy K. James

    I think you’ve pretty much nailed the whole SHD thing. There are times when I avoid all social media like the plague, especially Twitter (but then I almost always avoid Twitter anyway).

    These days, I’m mostly fine in crowds made up of family and friends, though more than two or three hours and I am exhausted and wanting to get home and either have a nap, or lock myself in my office. Crowds of strangers? I tend to find a corner and observe. Every time I find myself in a situation like that, I tell myself I’m going to be more outgoing…but I never am.

    As for the social media responses, that one made me laugh. I always edit my posts before hitting enter, but then I’ll read them again. Until FB added the edit feature, if I found a mistake I missed, I’d have to highlight and copy the post, delete the original, paste, edit, and post again. I’ve been editing this comment for about twice as long as it took me to write it, lol.

    What can I suggest to help others? Fake it till you make it is pretty effective. Starting slow is, too. I still force myself to compliment strangers in stores (not all the time, just when I see something genuinely worth complimenting). I also tend to strike up conversations with people in checkout lines. You’d be surprised by how much it helps. If nothing else, it brings me out of my own little world for a minute or two and forces me to interact with others around me.

  4. PatriciaPatricia

    Wow – I had no idea. You seem so friendly and outgoing here on your blog. You send Christmas cards to people you don’t know and you share your precious Thor with strangers. Sounds like you definitely have your hands full.

    I do not suffer from the items you have listed. I am an extrovert and love the spotlight. But, I do believe that I am careful to include everyone in the group if possible. I make a conscientious effort to remember people’s names so as to help them feel important and included. I often wonder what it’s like to be on the opposite end of that spectrum.

    Nothing wrong with baby steps. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

  5. Diana BeebeDiana Beebe

    *raises hand*
    I live for the tiny, slow baby steps. Crowds of strangers stress me out. I’m working on that. I can’t even tell you how much meeting WANA sisters in person and online has helped me, but you probably know this already. Muah!

  6. Lynn KelleyLynn Kelley

    I never would have guessed you get stressed about social media. You seem like a natural at it. I just figured you have your hands full with your family, plus migraines, which make it hard to keep up with it all. I’m an introvert, too, but seem comfortable enough in a group of eight or less. The thought of public speaking gives me the jitters or a full fledge panic attack!

    I enjoy blogging and Facebook and emailing when I’m not exhausted, which unfortunately is the case most of the time and I’m just too tired to form a sentence. Or to read posts! Twitter is just not my bag, unless I’m feeling great, which is seldom! It’s ironic that I’m starting up a business doing home presentations and I have a fear of public speaking! If I wasn’t doing this as a team with my daughter (possibly two of my daughters), it wouldn’t be happening. And doing school visits with my coauthors is how I’ve managed to handle that aspect of children’s writing.

    Just goes to show how much your writing career means to you, that you’re continuing to do the social media, which is way out of your comfort zone, all for the love of accomplishing your goals. And you’re going to get there, I have no doubt about it. Like I said, you seem like a natural to me as far as the social media goes. So baby steps works. That’s the way I move ahead, too.

  7. Kassandra LambKassandra Lamb

    You are such a brave soul, Debra! And it looks like you are not alone, in more ways than one. Lots of writers are introverts to the point of being socially withdrawn.

    I’m more an extrovert but I still find the social media tough sometimes. It’s easy to get into ruminating about how something will come across. And it is definitely time-consuming.

    I’m so glad you keep forging onward with your baby steps. Our WANA gang wouldn’t be the same without you!!

  8. Jennette Marie PowellJennette Marie Powell

    Ummmm…. Yes to all. I hate Twitter to the point I’ve given up on it, and am this close to doing the same with Facebook. I do like blogs, except when I’ve commented on one several times (and it’s not a “big” blog) and they never come back to mine, and I can only think I’m too boring for them.

  9. Emma MeadeEmma Meade

    I remember you mentioning baby steps in a post from a year or so ago – something I still keep in mind, so thanks, Debra.

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